Adventures of one who is totally floored.

How fitting is this after my recent time with my new camera which is a Lumix FZ7 for those techy people that want to know what sort of camera I deem suitable for the family Chops. We had a roadshow for the good makers of said camera and I got speaking to the rep and he made me feel at ease with my choice. Before I told him I had one he said they were his favourite out of the range for many reasons.

My convo was overheard by one of the security guards and it turns out that he also was looking for a camera. I had mine in the car so we had a bit of a play and it turns out today that he went on the ebay and bought two of them. One for his mum and one for him.

Till Next Time If Anyone Has Something Need To Be Sold I Will Accept Freebies And Will Get You Sales,

Chops

We decided for multiple reasons to buy a new camera. We wanted something pretty compact but yet powerful. But not being camera freaks I decided the best thing we could do was go down to the camera shop and have a play.

After playing with one or two cameras the gent asked what it would be used for and I mentioned I was off to Africa and would be off on Safari. His eyes lit up and said have I got the camera for you. It has really good zoom, it’s light and mega stability. We then managed to take pretty good shots of a bird a 100 metres away.

Being the cheap nasty people we are we got some prices around town and then found it on ebay for 60 bucks cheaper including freight and such.

The camera arrived I think it would be on dee’s my precious level of love.

We decided to take it up into the mountains and take it bush walking and give it a spin so I wasn’t trying to figure it out in South Africa. After a forced march on the way back we found a really cool looking red parrotty looking bird. We had the trail to ourselves for most of it but as soon as we found a bird every man and his aardvark decided to walk the trail. I have no problem with this too much. But they all assumed that we were taking photos of the bird that we were some sort of experts on the subject. So everyone then asked us what kind of bird it was and what call did we just hear and all sorts of wildlife questions. They looked a little disappointed when I said “To be honest we have a new camera and we are just having a play with it”.

Till Next Time I Am No Expert,

Chops

Our mission was simple. It was for 5 grown men to take 2 boys aged 7 & 4 on a 15 minute walk to the local watering hole and enjoy an afternoon of male company whilst the lady folk go to a baby shower. The walk wasn’t too bad and got to meet and catch up with those that I was to spend the arvo with.

We arrived at the pub which was packed. It had a lot going for it ocean views, jazz band, food, cold beverages and a large playground we could watch the boys from a watchful distance. We arrived and the playground was in a fairly major state of disrepair and roped off. So that was a major strike in the opinion of our young companions. We also could find no seating in the shade and it was a glorious sunny day in the city of Chops. So we scoured for a spare table which took ten minutes or so. We needed sustenance to help aid the drinking of beverage so a couple of large bowls of hot chips with really good gravy on the side we procured. Strike two: we were asked by the nice burly security guard as we were sitting on a no eating table which is in the newly proclaimed smoking area. The smoking rules have changed recently and you can’t eat “substantial” food in the smoking area. A bag of crisps is ok but a bowl of hot chips is not ok. They are the same thing in slightly different forms. At it’s core it is grease, potatoes and salt. It is very confusing. We managed to find another table but with a little less shade this time and then two minutes after that upgraded to another table which was fully covered in shade. We must have been a sight to see as we kept hopping from table to table in quick succession.

The gent who is about to become a father was taught a very handy lesson by his nephews yesterday. They were given a lemonade each which they downed very quickly and then asked for another which uncle thought was a reasonable request. The next hour saw two very hyper not so used to that much sugar coursing through the veins boys bouncing around. Which is not really the vibe in that sort of situation.

We then took the boys to the playground to work out a bit of the sugar in the system and a wonderful time had by all. We soon realised that we had left one of the boys hats behind at the pub. We knew that it would mean lots of bagging for us if we were to arrive back with not all that we took with us. So the brave uncle was sent back to get the hat and then we managed to momentarily loose the other hat as well.

We did manage to get them all back sfae and sound and taught them some very needed lessons such as how to ankle taps someone so they eat grass and how to hang upside down from bits of metal.

Till Next Time Sugar Highs Do Not Aid Parenting,

Chops

Ever have one of those days despite your best efforts every other man and his aardvark let you down. We have these clients that are semi regular and are very particular as to their needs. But thankfully they normally let us know ahead of time so we should be prepared. But despite our best efforts we can shoot ourselves in the foot and this time repeatedly.

To start off with the dudes who set up the chairs and tables decided that the plan that was drawn was a mere suggestion and they could put there stuff where ever they liked. So I called them and made them fix it. The morning crew were not too happy with the crew from the day before.

The flowers which they ordered had not arrived. The client noticed and all my attempts to stall her were not going very far. I tried calling the florist which didn’t really work at 7am on a Saturday. She was getting a bit pushy and demanding by hook and by crook she needed the flowers for the stage. So doing the unthinkable I stole the flowers that were leftover in another room and had been on display for 4 days previous. So when the client said “Aren’t they beautiful??” I quickly arranged them so the slightly dead side was not as visible and scurried away.

I told the infodesk that if the crazy florist did arrive don’t let him go upstairs because the second lot of flowers would only confuse the client and ask bad questions like “If these flowers that just arrived are my flowers where did the others come from??” I could take no tricks as the Information Desk attendant I told to stop the crazy florist was on a break when the crazy florist arrived and set up the flowers outside the room. So I did have to answer the inevitable questions which I did with aplomb. What also helped was that the replacement flowers were very scented and the presenter is hyper allergic to flowers. So Mr Chops did good and saved the day. I would like to end the story there but it does get worse.

The client called and said there was some sort of interference with their radio mic. I sent the audio guy to go have a look. They sheepishly admitted to what happened afterwards. When their crew set up the room and put up the drapes so you don’t have to look at the ugly wall. Some genius dropped their radio and it got all tangled up in the drape. So while the presenter was presenting everytime they spoke to each other on the radio it could be heard coming out of the curtains!!! They went onto their back up channel and we rescued the radio in between their breaks.

Till Next Time I Just Have To Shake My Head In Shame,

Chops

I know that is a really dangerous question considering some of those who read this blog. I went to my banking institution so I could make a deposit and order a new snazzy card that will let me use the internet more safely and give me more options when I travel overseas. I organised that and changed my address. The lady also asked for my tax file number which I have never given them. I said “oops I don’t know it” which the lady said was fair enough.

I then realised that it is on my mobile phone for just such a time as this. I said “Oh Hold on it’s on my phone”. The lady said what sort of person has their tax file number on their phone. I replied with “I do”.

I didn’t think it was all that a special thing to do. I guess I just don’t know what normal is.

Till Next Time What Is Normal??,

Chops

Firstly my gravest apologies for not blogging in so very long but I know you have all moved on and are no longer interested in my adventures. I have many great and funny adventures recently but not had the time to relay them on to you all.

On the weekend I had a surprise b’day party thrown for me by Mrs Lovely Wife and her number of assistants. A wonderful tiem was had by all and for the most part I had no idea what was going on. One of the wonderful gifts I received was series 1 of The Muppet Show. Oh how it brought back many memories of childhood memory. One fo the cool features of the disc is the feature that throw up little snippets of triva. On the Episode with Sir Peter Ustinov they listed him as a actor, writer, director and raconteur. The snippet then came up that the true defination of a raconteur is not of a shonky business person but the teller of anecdotes.

Till Next Time Let Me Be Your Raconteur,

Chops